The Magic of Beginnings
I spent 14 years married to a man I thought would love me forever. Somewhere along the way the marriage began to unravel and the man I knew was now just a roommate and most times- only a stranger. I became a married single mother of three and the life I imagined was replace with the sheer reality that I was unloved, invisible and stuck. I had these children to protect and care for even as I could barely find the strength to get through each day. While I felt abandoned by this man that promised to love me forever, my children gave me a reason to keep moving forward.
The night that I found out he had gone outside of our marriage for his happiness and companionship, he told me that he hadn't loved me for 9 years. Now that was a serious blow to my world since we had been married at that time for 12 years. Imagine the pain and rage I had!
This betrayal left me feeling bruised and without much closure. It still catches me off guard at times and I am transported back to that very night. Just the other day I was overwhelmed with the feelings of anger and betrayal and I fell to my knees. I never got an apology from him for changing the course of my life and the life of my children. It's still an open wound and no matter what I do to move on, the wound is still fresh.
For the past six years, I've been divorced and have crafted a new life for myself and my children. The journey has been long and difficult, but I love who I've become in the process. I am looking forward to this next level of growth where I may find love again and branch out into the life put on hold for so long.
After all these years, I have graduated two children from high school and will be sending them to college this fall-my son will be a sophomore year and my daughter, a freshman. My youngest will be home with me as he heads to 8th grade and prepares for high school next year. Each of them is amazing! They are all so different and have found their own interests and passions to nurture. I have spent the last seven years giving them the roots-the foundation needed in order to encourage the wings-to launch them into the world on their own.
But as they spread their wings and grow into their new adult selves, I now must start anew and build the life I want as the nest continues to empty out. It's time for Lisa 2.0! I will turn 49 years old this year and I am working on a 10 year plan that will lead me as I focus more on myself, my goals and realizing my dreams.
The days of "I wish" are over...it's now "I will" time.
What are your goals?
Are there dreams that lie dormant inside you?
What is the vision you have for your life?
Are you ready to start living the life you are worthy of?
If so, let's take this next step together! What I know is that setting your life on fire requires that you don't do it alone. You need someone else to help you strike the match. Finding your tribe-your support group will get you there faster and it's a much more enjoyable journey.
Step One: Identify your tribe
You don't need a long list of people who will make up your tribe. Having 3-5 people that you can count on to give you their honest opinion and advice is perfect. Make sure you have someone that will be your cheerleader, another that can be a trouble-shooter and at least one other person that can be a connector (someone that will help you expand your network). You can then round out your tribe with people that bring something unique and missing from your trifecta. If 5 people doesn't seem like enough, feel free to go up to 7 members.
Step Two: Journal Your Journey
I have kept a journal ever since I was 11 years old. I continue to write in it on a regular basis. What a great way to put your thoughts, ideas and plans in a place that you can return to and reflect, recall, and hold yourself accountable.
So I want you to find yourself a journal that is just right for you. I have found some beautiful journals at the dollar store or Marshall's as well as Barnes & Nobles and other fancy stationary stores. Whatever your price point, there are amazing and beautiful journals that will draw you in. Once you have selected your journal, it's now time to get to writing.
Write daily, if possible. The more it becomes part of your routine, the easier it will become and the more enjoyable it will be. Writing is difficult and so just be patient with yourself. Try to shoot for 1-2 pages each day for a week and then work on adding more as you go. Eventually you will find that writing is much like meditation or therapy. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day or two...just begin again. Trust the process. New beginnings are difficult but journaling will be a great companion!
If you are having trouble writing at first, here are a few prompts to get you started:
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
How would you describe yourself?
Write a letter to someone who believed in you even when you didn’t believe in yourself.
What is your most vivid memory of the kitchen in your childhood?
What scares you?
If you could change one thing about your present life, what would it be?
Some of the things that make me happy are . . .
Look through your photographs and choose a few to write about.
The most fun I’ve ever had . . .
The most terrifying moment of my life was . . .
Look for more information on how to create a life plan in future posts and please share with me how you are doing and if you find yourself stuck and need help. Count me in as part of your tribe! Good luck and enjoy the process.
