Create a Tribe of Support
Last year I vacationed on Martha's Vineyard. It was my first time on vacation or at a beach (yes, my very first time EVER). I took this trip with a group of 100 other women that I had never met. It was one of the scariest things I've ever done. For six days I would be on the Vineyard and sharing a house with a handful of women from all over the country. It would be up to me as to how little or how much I would spend time with these ladies as there were so many things we could choose to do over the week.
One of the most amazing parts of the trip was the morning Polar Bear ritual at the Ink Well (see pic above). Each morning the women of the island would gather together to wade in the water of this sacred place. Historically, this was the only area of the beach where Blacks were allowed to swim. White people assumed that the color of our Black skin would come off in the beach and contaminate the water so we were made to swim in a separate area of the water. Well of course we know that isn't possible, but it was named the "Inkwell" for that reason. So these women gather each morning to exercise and welcome others on the island each morning to join this spiritual and loving ritual of singing, moving, supporting and bonding with one another. I've never felt more at peace or connected to spirit than when I participated in this beautiful experience. These women of all races, places, and circumstances were together, supporting one another and building trust and celebrating our strength and courage. This was like no other tribe I've been a part of...such a life-changing experience!
The older I get the more difficult it is to make new friends. It takes a lot for us to invest time, build trust, share stories and create strong enough connections so that we can actually get real with one another. I don't have a lot of time or patience for half-ass girl time where we are being fake and phony. I need some gritty women who aren't afraid to shed light on their perfectly imperfect selves. I want to get down with some truthful and funny ladies who as Iyanla Vanzant would say..."calls a thing a thing."
WHO CAN MAKE UP A TRIBE?
Here are a few examples:
Supporters: They provide positive support and encouragement
Mentors: They help grow and promote your talent
Accountability Partners: They ensure that you are moving forward in the strategic direction of your goals
Influencers: They are at the pinnacle of their career and leading the way in their industry. They provide a model for optimal success. Health Care Professionals: Primary Care Physicians, Therapists, Massage Therapy, etc.
Wellness Professionals: Health Instructors (Yoga, Meditation)
Financial: CPA, Financial Planner
Academic: Adviser, Department Chairs, Admission/Guidance Counselors
Spiritually: Pastor, Rabbi, Minister, etc.
Personal: Life Coach, Executive Coach, supportive family members
It is so important to surround yourself with a handful of these folks in order for you to truly get the support, guidance, and real-talk associated with growth-professional and personal.
So if you already have your tribe, great! Make sure that this group remains active by meeting regularly and being accountable to the relationship you have set up.
If you have not created your tribe yet, take this time to consider who in your life would be a powerful addition to your team in order for you achieve the goals you have set out for yourself? It is always great to start with what your intention is for having this tribe in the first place--setting so goals or developing a plan for your life and where you see yourself in the next 3-5 years. Once you have some of that information, it may be easier to identify those people that could make for great members of your personal team.
Here's to getting started and finding the people who will help you reach your goals and grow you in ways that will be useful and empowering on your journey.
