You're Your Best Thing

We so often pour into those around us-our children, partners, work, church and community. We give freely of our time and our talents and rarely gift ourselves with the same thought and care. 

I hear from so many women that they are overwhelmed and exhausted from juggling the many responsibilities in their lives. They speak of wanting respite and time to devote to themselves. These woman are warriors. These women want to get it right. 

In our society right now, women are all in-taking a stand and raising their voices. They are fighting for gender equality, respect at work and in the home. They are leading and lifting one another up so that we are stronger together and wiser than ever. 

So how do we ensure that while we rise each day to tackle the office, boardrooms, government, home and family, we carve out that much needed time to reboot and recharge our own selves in the process?

First, we must recognize that we are doing an amazing job. But to do so much with limited time each day, there has to come a moment when we can take off the cape, ease into our own reality and tend to our needs. 

Get Still

Busy, busy, busy-that has become our badge of honor. I suggest instead of looking at your ‘to do’ list or your full calendar as a measure of success, that you stop for a moment and remove yourself from the daily chaos that fills our days and robs us of precious time to rest, restore, reflect and recalibrate. 

Our bodies and our minds need time to get centered. If you can find 5 minutes to start, close your eyes and breathe in through your nose deeply, filling your belly so it expands. Hold that breath for 5-10 seconds. Then let it out slowly through your mouth. Do that 3-5 times and you will begin to feel more relaxed and less anxious. 

For some, writing in a journal for 10 minutes can do the trick. Just make sure you find yourself a special notepad that you can carry with you at all times. Take it out and free-write without editing your thoughts at least once a day. You might surprise yourself with what actually bubbles up to the surface when you release yourself from the running playlist of shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. 

There are a number of other ways to get still and spend quality time with and for yourself. Find what works for you and work to create the space and time to make it part of your routine. You are worth the time. 

Connect in Real Time

We are all very busy people. Life seems to get in the way these days of making personal connections with the people we care about. Cell phones, texting, social media and the internet leave little room for person-to-person gatherings. 

We have to strike a balance and begin connecting with friends and family in real time. I know that while it’s hard to juggle schedules, when my girlfriends and I have time together over drinks or just going for a walk, it adds so much to my life. I’m more energized, I slow down and appreciate what happens when we are emotionally and socially enriched. 

So make that next happy hour. Call a friend to go walking or shopping or to stop by and catch up. It’s worth it. You’re worth it and so are your relationships with those you hold dear. 

Create a Sanctuary

The definition means-a place of safety or refuge. This is a place you go to seek comfort, to seek protection. This is a place of retreat. When you take time to bring together the things and comforts of life that can sustain and nurture you into one place, this can become your sanctuary-your safe haven from chaos, negativity, despair, pain, hopelessness, and so much more. 

This space can be as small as a shelf to an entire room of your own. Surround yourself with what brings your joy and peace. I have a room with books I love, a candle that sets my mood, lots of markers and pens and a journal. I have a conmfortable chair and space to write which is what I love to do. 

Just take time to make space that can bring you immediate comfort and strength for your journey. 

Have a Safe Word

You know when you are little and your parents give you a code word that only you all know in case of emergencies and you need help? Have you ever needed to let someone know you aren’t feeling safe or things are getting out of control? Having a safe word between friends, spouses and the like helps you are overwhelmed. My best friend and I have a safe word that when shared we ready for anything and are prepared to be the fiercest support there is. We know each other’s needs and can come to one another’s aid quickly. 

Create those safe words with the people in your life. Maybe you don’t like when you argue with your partner and it can get out of hand. If you had a safe word that meant you all have gone too far and you need stop and show respect. Maybe your word is “banana.”  I was in a professional women’s coaching  program where when any of us started speaking negatively about ourselves, someone would say “martini” (yes, we all love those!) and it was a reminder to stop and be gentle with ourselves. 

Fill Up

We must fill up our cup with things that have meaning and give us joy. Waiting for others to come to our rescue, to fill up our own precision cups is unrealistic and unfair. We are responsible for our own happiness, our own satisfaction in this life and we alone are truly the only ones that can fulfill that requirement. It isn’t doesn’t work. When we give up our power to be enough for ourself and leave it up to someone else to determine how my happiness and fulfillment show look, we lose ourselves. 

Many of us are lost because we gave all our stuff away and relied on someone else to be in control of our worth, our joy, our peace of mind. 

Let that go and let yourself back in the drivers seat. Take your rightful place and begin to discover the things that make you happy-foods, activities, travel destinations, people who fuel you. Get out there and let the self-love and the cup filling begin. I promise you it will overflow. And when it does, those around you will benefit while you’re thriving!

Remember...

The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself. It is as vital as air and the time you invest in your beautiful self will never be wasted. Don't be so quick to dismiss your own needs and desires. You matter!